HCG Diet- Body Image…

25th octI’m now officially the lightest I have been in many many years, I think since I was in my late teens or early twenties and do you know what?
I don’t feel like I am, I really thought I would feel ecstatic and love my body but I don’t, I can’t actually really see the difference.

That may sound stupid, 32kg down as of today, clothes have gone from a 24 to 14 and I’m 86.8kg down from 119.5kg.

I can see how I look in the mirror, in photos and people are commenting on how I look and how well I’ve done. But I don’t feel skinny like I thought I would, perception is my reality at the moment and I’m just not sure.

It’s not that I’m not happy with where I am at, at the moment it’s more like I just thought reaching below 90kg’s would be like a massive milestone, I’d look a certain way, I’d have my life sorted, it would be like this magic moment in my life… Stupid as it’s not changed a thing except what I look like in a way and what my measurements say on the scales.

I am also scared of the sagging skin I’m getting at the moment, I now bend over and it’s like all of my tummy flab balls together and crinkles into an ugly shape. I’ve got some bat-wings going on and hate that too… I’m hoping that once the last 18kg have gone that I won’t have these issues and be this thin looking, sag free, toned looking woman… I think I might be pushing it as let’s be honest I have done some damage to my body and skin after 16 years of heavy food abuse and need to understand this and love my body, but how?

Two years ago when I did this diet and got to low 90kg range I loved my body and shape, I felt I looked womanly and thought I wanted to stay around this weight for life, this time round I am still unhappy with how I look and my shape, I look in the  mirror and still see a fat girl looking at me, I can still see the large tummy & large rear and now I feel I’m out of proportion, my body is shrinking but not altogether.. Maybe it’s just the weight I’m at right now or maybe I’m just not really seeing what I look like?

Maybe I’m being harder on myself than I need to be and my body image is skewed? I don’t know… I don’t know how to fix my thoughts at  the moment… It also sort of doesn’t seem real, I will catch a glimse in a shop mirror and it my tummy and bum still look massive, I say to myself i’m a size 14 I can’t be massive but what I am seeing via my eyes at the moment I am… I don’t want to develop a false body image but feel like I am sort of at the moment… Ekkk… I do hope it changes when I can start to tone up.. Maybe that’s it. Well I hope it is.

I am taking an MSM supplement that is meant to help with sagging, lose skin so we shall see after a few months if it has made any difference?
I have seen photo’s of others and their results and some have been fantastic using MSM… Everyone is probably different and the damage that people have done vary as well as age I guess.

Below is me holding my kids who weight about 30kg’s so the weight I’ve lost now is heavier than these guys, amazing.

30kg

The weight I’ve lost is as much as these kids weigh! 30kg!!

Pants are the old pants that I couldn’t fit in April this year… Also amazing. Seeing pictures like this does make me think but only whilst I’m viewing them… then i forget that I’m now in the 80’s… wow… 80’s.

FullSizeRender30kgs gone
Phase 2 day 20 here at the moment, have another 14 to go until my planned interruption. Looking forward to it!

Menu:

  • Breaky – Strawberries blitzed with Vanilla Creme Stevia
  • Snack – BP coffee
  • Lunch – Tomato, basil and roasted chicken (fav meal at the moment.. recipe will be in my up-coming book)
  • Snack – Orange Stevia, lemon juice in sparkling water
  • Dinner – Egg white and spinach scramble with chocolate microwave cake
  • Snack – Apple and chocolate delight

 

 

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